“Good Teacher, what shall I do so that I may inherit eternal life?” Mark 10:17, New Testament
This morning and yesterday I’ve been talking to friends in Florida and Tennessee. One person seemed to be using this time of being on the brink of possibly destruction as a spiritual opportunity! He was paying attention to his emotions and excited to see what would be and who he would be when the storm passes. He seemed to be looking forward to the peace and beauty that can happen after a big storm.
“On the brink” seems to describe so many things right now. Our country “on the brink” of a controversial and hotly contested election. On our family, some of our teens are on the brink of adulthood as they enter high school or are readying themselves for college.
AND here’s Parker Palmer who writes the most beautiful, reflective, enjoyable book about being on the brink of…dying - On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old. Essentially the book about aging AND living well in the last stage of life. (I will warn you ahead that if you are thinking of reading the book, he’s not a Trump fan so be prepared for that).
I underlined at least half of the book, and I was really trying to restrain myself. The book has seven sections:
I. The View from the Brink: What I Can See from Here
II. Young and Old: The Dance of the Generations
III. Getting Real: From Illusion to Reality
IV. Work and Vocation: Writing a Life
V. Keep Reaching Out: Staying Engaged with the World
VI. Keep Reaching In: Staying Engaged with Your Soul
VII. Over the Edge: Where We Go When We Die
While Parker Palmer’s wisdom is gleaned from almost eight decades of living, it really transcends age and speaks to anyone seriously grappling with life’s questions. He has a wonderful essay to young women seeking purpose in life.
John has asked me several times, “Well who is this Parker Palmer?”
I answered something like, "He’s an interesting guy, a man of honesty and integrity who has lived eight decades. He founded the Center for Courage and Renewal. He wanted to be monk, but had this issue of a wife and three kids. He was a Methodist and now is a Quaker. He has a doctorate in the sociology and other degrees as well." And he writes good books.
All of his work, it seems to me, is about love, hope, healing, following the call of our "True Self," moving toward wholeness (not perfection – but accepting all that we are) and creating community - living together in a democracy. He has devoted his life to fostering dialogue between young and old, black and white, liberal and conservative. He’s funny. And really, really real. He’s suffered three bouts of deep depression and that is part of his offering.
He asks himself three questions:
• How can I live with courage and meaning and integrity?
• How can I make sense of the world’s darkness and keep it from overwhelming me?
• How can we cultivate both a robust outer life and a robust inner life, especially as we age?
Parker isn’t in the business of telling people what to do, but he does share his own experiences of living and aging. And one part I really loved is this quote: “We need to reframe aging as a passage of discovery and engagement,” he says, “not decline and inaction.”
There’s much more to share on another day. But for today the thing that strikes me the most is what he says about faith. And here’s his quote:
“As long as we’re wedded to results, we’ll take on smaller and smaller tasks, the only ones that yield results. If we want to live by values like love, truth, and justice—values that will never be fully achieved—’faithfulness’ is the only standard that will do.”
I appreciated this sort of faithfulness very much in my father - this ability to stay true to his mission, his calling, despite ridicule and lack of support and physical disability. By many accounts his life didn't count for much. He died without achieving many of his goals. He was working on his love chapel when he died at 80. It was mostly a shack. But he was the most faithful man I’ve ever met…my husband is a close second.
And it touches me as I see the many places where my goals are probably never going to be fully achieved. For my own sanity and well-being at this stage of my life, I want to recalibrate that part of myself which can only be happy if I’m achieving my goals and winning, to a new standard… of being faithful to my mission.
Maybe I will or won't get the compassion book done and published, and I'll keep writing. Maybe I will or won't be able to start ten other compassion circles, and I'll keep attending and offering invitations. Maybe Cashmere will or will not become "the compassion capital of the world," but I'll keep proclaiming it. Maybe I will or maybe I won't actually become the compassionate person I long to be, but I'll keep my intentions in front of me and stay accountable. That's part of what I got from Parker Palmer - to recalibrate y goals from achievement to staying faithful to my mission as best I can.
These later years of life for me ARE an opportunity for discovery - I do believe that's true... if I am willing and have the right mindset. Parker talks about the things we can no longer do as we get older, like multi-tasking, but we discover new things like deeply enjoying the colors of a sunset.
And that takes me back to my friends in Tennessee and Florida. Hurricanes and mass devastation as a spiritual opportunity? Really?
Maybe a certain “spiritual-on-the-brink” mindset that comes with aging could be useful for all ages. A mindset that sees all of life as being on the brink…of exciting discoveries.
Here’s a poem I read this morning from Rev. Steve Garnaas-Holmes, primarily a Christian poet. The poem which seems to fit with my friend’s approach to being on the brink of Hurricane Milton. Steve opens the poem with a New Testament scripture that baffles a lot of us...well, it did baffle me at least until I read Parker's book and listened to my Florida friend, and read where Steve went with the poem.
Jesus is talking to a young man who has just rushed up to him with a question. The story is often referred to as the story of The Rich Young Ruler.
The "rich young ruler's" question is, “Good Teacher, what shall I do so that I may inherit eternal life?”
Jesus responds by reminding the young man that he knows the ten commandments (do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother).
The young man replies, “Teacher, I have kept all these things from my youth.” Then according to the scripture, the encounter closes like this: “Looking at him, Jesus showed love to him and said to him, ‘One thing you lack; go and sell all you possess and give to the poor….’”
What? I thought he loved the guy? Sell all your possess? Why?
And this is where Rev. Steve Garnaas-Holmes starts his poem.
“You lack one thing; go, sell what you own...” —Mark 10.21, New Testament
What you lack is lack.
You have so much, you don't need eternal life,
don't need God.
To receive eternal life you have to be empty enough.
You have to sell everything, give it all away.
You have to live in radical trust.
Sometimes trust is deepest when it's all there is.
Be mindful of what you cling to,
and what you would gladly spend to find blessing,
what you would drop to be free.
And drop it.
Practice trust and generosity.
Practice letting go and giving away.
When you've given away what you can,
what you're left with is what can't be taken from you:
infinite life.
Parker says something very like this, I’ll have to find the exact quote but it’s about being mindful of what we cling to, what we might want to drop AND to and to think carefully about what we want to give, to contribute to the world.
Yes, even now in this messy, beautiful country in this last stage of some of our lives.
My Florida friend and his buddies have their boats tied up. He and others are evacuating AND he’s “excited to see what will be or not when the storm passes.”
How might we journey excitedly together “on the brink” and move up to… oh, I don't know... "Infinite Life?"
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